I am Me! =)

I COULD BE EXTREMELY HAPPY AND TALKATIVE BUT I COULD BE CATATONIC FOR AN HOUR.
if you've made me disappointed, you've made a mark and i hardly forget.
I AM NOT A COPYCAT OF ANYONE, I AM LIVING MY OWN LIFE AND I REALLY HATED TO BE ASSOCIATED.
i know what i am doing and i rarely ask for advise. If i did, well maybe i am just running out of answers and maybe desperate.
I AM ANXIOUS FOR ANY KIND OF SEPARATION, EVEN IF SOMETIMES IT DONT CONCERNED ME. I JUST HATE A THOUGHT OF IT.
im a christian and I am still trying to be a good one yet a part of me says I should be a lame believer.
I HARDLY FORGET MEMORIES!
ive never aimed High,neither aspire for Power.They've expected me to have it. Just a bit of success will do!
I WANNA DIE OF NO PAIN AT THE AGE OF 60. AT LEAST BEFORE 60, I'D BE GONE ON THIS EARTH.
sometimes, i like it when people ask for my help, and i'll be disappointed if i dont have any means of doing so.
I HATE TO SEE HELPLESS PEOPLE.
i like it too, when people talks about emotions and points of view.
I LIKE GUYS WHO STIMULATES AND TICKLES MY IDLE MIND. I LIKE BEFRIENDING THEM. ;)
i like chasing people i admire yet easily get off when tired.
SOMETIMES, I PLAYED AND APPEARED DUMB JUST TO LET OTHERS FEEL THAT THEY'RE SMART.
(oh ! i forgot, that sometimes i really am Dumb! so when you noticed it,please dont dare to talk to me..my mind is wandering, maybe! and on Astral State! hehehe)
i like seeing people so delighted and confused, im so entertain seeing facial expressions!=)
I DONT LIKE GRUMPY PEOPLE, THEY MADE ME STOOD IN ONE CORNER AND DONT TALK.

Nobody would care even myself wont bother
for someone like you,don’t know anything but yourself.
If judging others would give you excruciationg happiness
then go, Run fast!
enough for me to hear those worlds for I know ,
people OF your kind would indulge into nonsensical stuffs ..and would earn nothing!

IF FOR YOU, I AM NOT NORMAL,
THEN, CALL ME A MADWOMAN!=)

WOMAN

IM AN OUTLET,AN ECHO THAT KEEPS ON LINGERING,
JUST LIKE A PAIL WHERE THE WATER FROM THE FAUCET POURS,
A MAT , WHERE YOU WIPE DOWN YOUR FEET,
A DROP OF RAIN THAT FEEDS DURING DROUGHT,
A RELIEF FOR A SUDDEN THIRST,
A REMEDY FOR THAT ITCHINESS.

ITS AN INFLICTED DISTRESS…
A SWEEET AND PLEASING ONE THAT MARKED THOSE DAYS!
SO SWEET THAT EVEN FOR A WHILE AM HOLDING YOUR MIND

YOU'VE MADE ME A WOMAN!
THANK YOU!

S K E P T I C I S M

John Lennon have said that..
“God is a concept..”

Is it the same notion the catholic pope asserted that..

“Heaven is a state of mind..” ?

I dont know..
all i know is that upon my birth ..
God exists!
As early as i have my awareness of going to church.,
Supreme Being was there.

Deep within my thoughts and understanding..

Heaven was up there..
But never i imagined to be there for i know that i’ll never belong!


If hell is true..the conventional torture and sea of fire,'
Much more i dont belong for i know that once in my life..i do good!
but i am not perfect as my God wants me to be.

Sometimes..
I thought of living without heaven and hell,
Even principles.

Maybe, living simply in this world till your life ends.
Enjoy the resources and not abused it..
No more pride and greed.
Living with positivity without self desires.

If there’s another earth out there?
or If there’s another life after death?
i dont know..
never i thought of having another life after dying.

I’ll just accept that its a perpetual departure.
To let go off the senses..

Death is infinity.

if skepticism is a sin..
then i’ve sinned!

TAMUNENENG

Si TAMUNENENG..

Si tamuneneng ay dumating sa amin nuong taong 2005 at cya ay pang lima sa aming naging alagang aso.

In fairness naman sa kanya,mabait naman.

Yun nga lang, paranoid!

Dinala cya sa amin ng aking ama, sinakay cya sa motor tas nakalagay sa sako.

Tuwang tuwa kme nung dumating cya..

isa lang kase aso namin eh at un ay si Butototoy.

Yun na nga..isa lng napansin ko sa kanya..paglabas ko sa kanya sa sako.

Tahimik… ..

at ang kanyang mga ‘eyeballs’ ay paikot ikot sa paligid at di cya gumagalaw..

(nahilo ata cya sa byahe)

Tipong..nakikiramdam sa kanyang bagong ‘environment’.

Tumalilis cya ng takbo at pumunta sa isang sulok..ganun p din ang emote nya.

Paranoid!

Lumipas ang maraming araw, ganun pa din cya..

Nakakatakot tuloy..naisip ko bka maging ‘asong ulol’ cya.. .

mailap din kasi cya sa tao, tulo pa laway.

Pag nakakakita ng tao..ngtatago cya sa halamanan..tas di pa cya kumakahol..

Anung klase naman yun?!

Nagresearch ang aking tatay sa kung anung background meron ang asong si tamuneneng.

Napag alaman namin na lumaki pla cya sa tabing ilog..

Sabe nung ng alaga sa kanyang mga magulang, bihira lng daw kase ang tao sa area nila kaya cguro ganun cya..

Mailap!

Hanggang sa..napagdesisyunan ng buong pamilya na pakawalan at iligaw nlng si tamuneneng..

Mahirap pero..kailangan.

Mabigat sa damdamin dahil napamahal na din cya sa amin, kahit papano sa loob ng dalawang buwan.

Nagising na lang ako isang umaga na..

Wala na cya sa aming hardin..

Ayun..nailigaw na pla cya sa bukid ng aking ama,

Dating gawi..sinakay sa motor at nakalagay sa sako.

Nag iwan cya ng tali sa kanyang leeg bilang palatandaan.

Hindi naman daw humabol sa kanya.

Simple lang. tumakbo lng si tamuneneng sa bukid.

Lumipas ang tatlo..limang buwan..

Nang aksidenteng napadaan ang sinasakyan kong trycycle sa bukid na yun.

Short cut kase ang bukid na iyon sa aking pinagttrabahuhan.

NAKITA KO DUN SI TAMUNENENG..TUMATAKBO NA PARANG MASAYA NAMAN

AT NAGLALARONG MAG ISA.

May saltik tlg…at tipong may ‘imaginary friend ‘ pa ata.

Nalaman kong cya yon dahil sa tali sa kanyang leeg.

RAMDAM KO MASAYA CYA DUN. TAS MEDYO TUMABA PA CYA!!NAHIYANG CYA DUN!

At least kahit papanu..alam ko na okay cya..masaya kahit nabubuhay mag isa.. ..

BUTOTOY

Si butotoy..

9years na cya samen eh.So..matanda naba yun para sa isang
normal na askal?

Matanda na cya so anticipated ko na ang kanyang nalalapit o
paparating na pagyao..

Ok n yung expected ko na kesa Makita nlng namen cyang
nakabulagta at di ko malaman ang aking magging emosyon pag nngyare un ng
biglaan. Kagaya ng nngyare ke TUKNENENG,(naunang aso nmen ke
butotoy),papakainin n nmen cya nun eh..ng makita ng kptd ko na nakabulagta nlng
cya dun.Di nmen alm kng bakit..teorya ng tatay ko..inatake! 4years din cya
samen..

Kaya hweto,,nagssulat ako ng tungkol ke BUTOTOY.

Talented yang aso namen,tawag ko dyn
SPIDERDOG,kase..Inaaakyat nya ung gate nmen. .aNg tindi ng adrenaline rush! Dati nga, busyng busy kme kkpanuod ng
TV eh ngulat nlng kme ng tinawag kme ng kapit bahay kase si butotoy daw ay nakabigti..
Nahulog cya from tuktok ng gate,tas naka-hang lang cya..buti nlng ung paa nya
nakatapak sa sanga ng maliit nmeng FiveFingers n halaman.Ayun,kakawagkawag
cya..buti nlng naagapan pa! Second life nya na sigurong maituturing yon! =)

Tas pag ngggitara ako sa labas ng bhay nmen,nsa
tabi ko lng cya..parang isa sa audience. Tas mayamaya konti,tutulugan ako,,Pag si tatay nmn eh nag-Harmonica,tas mataas
ugn tono..mag aawooooooo cya…so parang kumakanta lang…kung anu ung taas ng tono..ppantayan nya un!Yung mga kapitbahay namen nagpapanic na kase nag aawooooo cya,akla nila me mamatay..etc..hehehehe…di nila alm..singer lang tlg si butotoy!=)

At kng makikita nyo sa pic..kinunan ko
cya, alm nyang nasa likod nya ko…pero parang ngpproject cya! At parang sinasabe
nyang..”CGE SHOT LNG NG SHOT!”…hehehe =)

Sa sobrang tanda nya…mahina na din cya kumaen..tas me hika
na den cya..ubo cya ng ubo..tas susuka cya..tas didilaan nya..(yuck!)

Ganunpaman,maasahan namen ang aso n yan kaya para mkpagprepare
n din kme sa nalalapit nyang paglisan eh minabuti nmeng mag alaga n ng ibang
tuta na pinangalanan nmeng OKRAY-OKRAY. (ang asong me malaporselanang mga
garapata!)..Actually dalawa sila ,,hiningi lng sila..ung isa si ANACLETO,kaso
si anacleto pinamigay na kase bihirang kumahol..pangit nmn un,db?!

Ayun,hnggng ngyn nasa amin pa din si Butotoy..inaantay nlng
nmen cyang mabawian ng buhay..sana

matagalan pa..

sana

….(sigh!)

Sa Bakuran...

.....a very comfy zone of our house where i relax.. strum myguitar , do some sketches...read any reading materials..or just do nothing and just sitback for hours!! ;)

EuLoGy

His death,

Gives me time to reflect,

To assess, to meditate.

How far will i go for this faith?

Have i served Him well?

Can i speak out for what i believed in?

Will i reach the same end?!

He did… till his last breath.

How could people take his life just for principle?

Isn't that their only way of showing prowess to nation?

Is that their last resort?

A gunshot?

Did they prove something after all?

A success on their part!

Silly...Machismo.

Desperate and pity those people who lived and longed for that damn principle.

They're living voraciously.

Greed is their god!

An inverted thumb.

We never pray for his soul.

But we pray for the soul of those who did that to him.

It’s such a sorrow that fighting for principle will reach this gruesome end!

Then, what’s next?

Who's next?

JERRY & THE ECHOES

Last week, ive planned to meet a friend since its been a year that we havent seen each other. Initially, myplanned was to meet her in Quezon City where she worked in a pharmacy and promised me to give some Vitamins for Free..hehehehe =)

Yet, she decided for us to just dropped by on her BFs regular gig in RenaissanceHotel. Actually, ive told her that i've wanted to see their band because they've been covered 50's-60s songs. .and to my shocked that they've performed on RamonJacinto's Shows on RJ Sunday Jam on Ch.29. =)

So last saturday...we did...
check these photos with their makulit at approachable na P.A (productionassitant)

PAMPALIPAS NG SAMA NG LOOB by GARY GRANADA

"...ako ang bayani ng mga bigo. di nagtatampo, di naglalaro, di naninibugho. ako'y walang puso't damdamin, di kailangang malaman mo pa. nakahanda na maglingkod kahit tingin mo pa sa akin pansamantala, pampalipas ng sama ng loob."-GaryGranada

Im into some of his songs these past few days and been humming to this since yesterday, ive just stumbled the video on youtube and found it really interesting. This song is so cute and i didnt find any negativity with the lyrics, just the complexity and laudable expression of his emotions. Lyrics of his songs are very pleasing and some are poetic.

Ive known GaryGaranada as a folk artist wayback 90's,, when i was in my 3rd year high school and became a Fan of Ginebra,where EHEADS and RIVERMAYA+INTROVOYS were hot on the airwaves. He sang the team's theme and i got dismayed (BayangBarrios also have the version of it) .
I dont even appreciate his works before even the melody,also, works of other FOLK-ethnic artist are not in my mind...but that was before!! i will insist..that was BEFORE!!! ;)

Saranggola sa ulan is primarily my favorite.=)

So everytime i am humming it...


i just smile ... =)

ROUNDTRIP!=)

Wala lng..

i just loooove longbus trip kahit traffic.

Wyl traffic..habang ang mga tao ay nababagot sa pag usad ng bus.. ako naman..

nagkakaron ng "sacred idleness" within me..

nakakapag isip… .

nakkapagasessed.

Habang nakatulala..

Nagiisip ng kung anu ano.. minsan naiiyak,, minsan nmn.. palihim na natatawang mag isa..=)

kaya if i have tym at kung may magyaya.. .. naku,,round trip lang.. ok nko..=)

"roundtrip" tawag nmen ng tropang hayskul kapag trip nameng magbyahe..baba ng terminal tas sakay ulit pabalik. ganun lng.. . palipas oras..=)

Gawain nmen nung hayskul.. kakamiss…=)