Status Message

He's the reason why i am awake right now and woke up from a dream. He's a reason why i am doing this free-writing...
A dream that made me think of him again, it should'nt be that way for we know that we really are having our own liFe.

I woke and get off from bed and an urgency of seeing at least any link via web that could connect me to him, made me do this just to pacify this feeling...

Its been so long..i reallly wonder why his face appeared in mydreams this past few days. It seems so reaL.it's a Lucid Dream

Yeah., right! I keep on murmuring questions like.. How is he and Where is he now? I've tried to visit her account in Friendster but its not even updated. Still, a family man on his account. A pinch of 'kilig' visited me again when i still saw my account on his 'FeaturedFriends',after ive added him up, at least seeing me on that space eases this Sadness (yeah, ive searched and addded his account, pathetic, right?).
A man with few friends but i know he really is satisfied with his life! I never thought that he could make his life that way and with him living on his own world,i could say that i would'not be remembered. Its really impossible that a little touch of myFace would pass his busy mind. Neither, wonder where am i nor recall the old feelings.

A deep-seated sigh!

If onLy i could rewind those days. If only i could bring up same feelings again,so many 'if's' and it just ended there. It's only right now i'd realize that i've should gave importance on that relatonship. Why didn't i? maybe i was young way back then...the emotional attachment i've had with him was so intensed that i got feared for the feeling itself and gave high regard with my pride.

Ive tried to search his name on Facebook, luckily, his name appeared, having mutual friends. It seems that's it not updated , too. But i am seeing updated pictures. He's been to different places meeting lots of girls ,obviously, because of his work and it shows that he's a succesful man.He really seems so happy and i envy him.,i also envy the woman behind of all his happiness, ive never envied people this way and it feels that i am hurting..

WeLL..i am living in my superficial and fantasy world. Creating my own story within. I've really wanted seeing him again. It's unexplainable and undone. Its really hard to be trap on a feeling that you may say 'unfinish'. It will continuosly haunt you and affect some events in ur life. And what is happening with me right now is an Episode, i hope that its just a mood!

Well.. after writing this,i'll turn myLaptop off and jusT sit here and with this silence.. hoping that even in memories, i can still be with him. Its not a ''Period'' event in my Life right now..it's just a Coma., its undone and I am looking forward..i am..looking..forward..come what may!