I really am clueless on childs' innocence and its 'being' until i got pregnant.
Everything that discusses the goodness of a child and their purity wasn't my minds' obsession until i conceived and take care of him. Even when i was in college , neither CHILD Developmental Psychology wasn't my interest nor laid my eyes to read books that discusses children and haven't bother biblical verses that says about children.
I realized that phase in my life is over now, and i am now comparing my life right now as i am getting old/er/ (ok not OLD, getting matured haha! ) How my baby live his life now and depend his life only with me. So helpless! During his first few months, i actually skipped meals just to see him sleeping and make sure that he is breathing... His struggle on picking and standing up,makes me want to help him right away. His cries makes me wanna cry too! I somehow comprehends people's behavior but understanding words that he utters was difficult of them all! I kept on trying ...until i understand and learned the so-called mothers'instinct.
I realized ,eveything a kid would do is to Play on their own world. They didnt know that growing up wont make them play anymore!
I realized, that for them, men are good! That everything is good! Everything was their possesion. That happiness, could achieve only if they would receive a candy or a toy. That this whole life.. is so simple to live in!
And now, my own little boy is turning two.. I am hoping that the rest of my life would be happiest being with him. The enthusiasm that he gave is really significant . Statements like ''apple of my eye'' and ''bundle of joy''will be appreciated now Because i have my Own and I am raising one . I will try my best to be stronger and be the best Mom he will know .
I know that my life is just starting and WE ARE just starting TOlome. I am confident that everything will follow for as long as we're together! :)
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